Do I really need to enjoy my pregnancy?

You often hear about pregnancy being an amazing experience, one we should treasure and enjoy with every ounce of our being. Creating life is a gift and we should enjoy it all the more if we are able to conceive without issues. But realistically, if you experience pregnancy like me, especially in the first trimester… Pregnancy sucks! No, it doesn’t just suck, pregnancy sucks BIG TIME.

The sleepless nights, the constant battle with nausea and being too afraid to cough incase it triggers your gag reflex. All the foods you use to like, your body now rejects, the hunger pangs, the timing of every mouthful of food so you can avoid the onset of vomitting. Getting to hot makes you feel bad, being too cold makes you feel bad. The stretching pains, the skin changes, your mental health being tested, crying at adverts or flying off the handle because you don’t have the right food in your body is craving… It’s a real test of character and I must say, being 8 weeks pregnant, I feel defeated right now.

It turns me into a vulnerable, negative, brat. So much so, I find myself hard to tolerate. I want to enjoy it, I want to appreciate the amazing thing my body is doing, I want to feel positive and glow with good vibes and positive energy, but instead I’m a negative Nancy wanting nothing more than the first trimester to be over.

I imagine myself to be some sort of energy vampire, sucking out the fun from every room I enter. I can even see family getting drained by my grey appearance and lounging around and bad attitude, but the more I try and pull myself out of this rut, the lower and more dejected and frustrated I feel.

This isn’t depression, it’s just me finding the first trimester very hard to tolerate and the more I come to fight it, the more defeated I feel. So I’ve come to the conclusion, it’s okay to hate being pregnant, it’s okay to feel defeated and down and to not enjoy the changes your body is going through. Realistically, who enjoys feeling sick everyday? It’s draining! I can’t even travel for 5 minutes in the car without feeling terrible, who would enjoy that?

There is too much peer pressure to appreciate thing’s when in reality, during that storm, you can’t see the silver lining, and that’s okay. If it is making others feel uncomfortable, it’s not your job to make them feel better. That’s how I see it anyway, if they sailed through pregnancy, good for them! If they didn’t, then maybe a little empathy wouldn’t go a miss. But to try and make out you are enjoying something because otherwise you look an ungrateful person, who doesn’t appreciate the gift you have been given and their are others who would love to be in your position but can’t, that maybe so, but again, be real with yourself and don’t adhere to what others expect you to act like because it’s how they believe you should act- that’s being fake and if people expect you to be fake again to make them feel better, that’s not your problem.

So no, you don’t need to enjoy pregnancy. It doesn’t make you a bad person, nor does it make you ungrateful for what you have been given. It makes you human, not everyone enjoys or tolerates the same things, what is joyous to one person could be a nightmare to the other. We are individual and every pregnancy is unique & if you are hating your first trimester right now, welcome to the club! Thank you for being honest and we’ll get through this together.

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